Fifteen minutes this year

Just these fifteen minutes let me forget everything ahead,

Just let my past be the last thought to put me to bed.

Just these fifteen minutes let me not have a conflict in my mind,

Let me simply let go of all the fights I have left behind.

Just these fifteen minutes let my words search for meaning tonight,

As I look for my soul and what I have become in my own sight.

Just these fifteen minutes let me not be guilty any more,

Let me be rid of all the burdens that I drag along, as I swim for shore

Just this fifteen minutes, let the smell, the taste of yesterday forever linger in my heart,

Just keep me moving on and reminding me when and where to start.

 

Just these fifteen minutes, let there be true meaning to unfold,

As I look back upon all that has been and all that remains untold.

Just these fifteen minutes let my regrets, my anguish find absolution,

Just this once, in my past let me find my bit of inspiration.

Just this once when I know the day is no longer here to remind me all that’s left behind,

Let me simply have hope in my heart, and believe tomorrow will bring a new sunshine

Just these fifteen minutes let me remember my rhythm my song,

And just this once let me find someone to sing along,just this once.

Just these fifteen minutes even if nothing changes ahead,

Let me keep moving on, and hoping there’s a different plan for me instead.

Just these fifteen minutes let me have faith, let me believe in wishes for real,

As I look in my past, in my good and bad times, let my path reveal

Just these fifteen minutes as I tread upon my lonely footsteps tonight,

Let me just find a reason in my heart, for which I knew I put up a fight

Just these fifteen minutes as the year comes to an end and the new one begins,

Let me let go; of what’s yesterday and hope to find what remains unseen

The Human Addiction

I wonder about this human connection

I question whether it’s possible to have a human addiction

Whether on some level, we all find that; which is but different,

Somewhere, somehow just a feeling that stays dormant.

I find a different reason, to be with or without,

And yet I find no reasons for the feelings that change & the thoughts that surround.

Different choices every day, the difference we make in each other’s lives,

And often unseen, and the changes for which we seem to strive.

To be ourselves with someone, to be different and yet who we are,

To live our dreams as though it matters most; when we are far.

I pack my bags tonight; and leave out everything that matters around you,

And yet my addiction grows with days, as I can’t see to reach through.

I can’t think of a better reason to tell you why I need an explanation,

I cannot shake this feeling that you aren’t there, and yet I am addicted to this allegation.

I think of a reason whether it’s possible to be bored tonight,

With the people who mattered to me, who’s definition I fail to revive.

I choose not to look at places I was, & the people I chose,

As I find my life awakened and my day coming to a close.

I sit back in my room today and wait for my feelings to subside,

Whether I am addicted to another human; never crosses my mind.

In every way and every step of the feeling that aren’t true,

I often look for answers, one’s that no longer reaches out to you.

I wait for things to get better, to see if things are different today,

I just seem to love the addiction much more and the feeling that I’ll be “okay”.

My friend undefined . .

I fiddle with my words, my thoughts tonight,

I wonder how to put them true, how do I write

I ponder upon my past, knowing it hard to fight,

I wonder if your try the same, every single night.

I pour myself with questions, and wish for no regrets tonight,

When I look at my friends, and my past losing sight,

So hard to give up sometimes, so hard to give in,

So hard to accept that things change, always from what they have been.

I sit with my doubts, and fears and unwound change,

As I tell you things will often go by, but impressions remain

I sometimes believe that life isn't fair,

I sit with you telling you of moments that are no longer there

I am right there lost and yet sitting by your side,

I know that there are some things I can never abide,

No questions asked today, no complains to tell,

Just an old friend and friendship & an old tale

I may not be a beginning, and may not find you an end,

But all I can offer you is endless time and a wonderful friend.

A friend finds hope in the darkest of time,

And yet that best of friendship remains undefined

My reality sublime. .

I sleep in my warm blanket in this cold winter night,

Watching life change and alter in front of my eyes.

I wrap myself in a peaceful belief,

As I put my heart to rest and put my mind to sleep.

I know there are no explanations; I don't need one too,

Just that my thoughts will always reach out to you.

In my dreams I build my real world tonight,

Because nothing makes sense as I lose your sight.

A long road ahead; at the end of the day,

I am hoping I will be "me"; I'll be different some way.

I look for corners that aren’t stuffy in my heart,

Places I would run to when I didn’t know how to start.

In simple writings I would express my soul,

I would give up on something beautiful, give up on it all

And yet everyday when I make the move ahead in time,

I fail to recognize that you, so close so mine

In frail heartbeats and secrets, let the reasons be there,

Let the reason tell the truth, the truth so sincere

I may not live a life of my own, I may be indifferent at last

But I know I simply gave up on something, but my feelings today I could not cast

In tomorrow when you find me, a friend, a guide, in memories so close

Let me be back to a happy you, let me return to what I chose.

And if the handwritings and photographs could not say a word,

Let me say the first one, as you let me move on, as you let me move forward

Some say distances speak of a heart’s desire, often of things that are never mine,

And yet we write of more sunsets than sunshine, as I look for my reality sublime.

Feels like. . .

Feels like a jolt of lightning passing right through my heart,

Feels likes a fresh morning, and one of life’s kick start.

Feels like evening when the sun sets tonight but the day knows no end,

I look at the glaring sun, on the horizon as though waiting for a friend.

Feels like destiny, feels like the future so changed,

Feels like everything that’s gone, and yet the feeling remains.

Feels like the last fight, like changes and amends that mattered yesterday,

But where do I keep them locked up, where do I find no dismay.

Feels like joining hands once again, sitting down to pray with your heart,

Like a distant wish we get to make, a wish which we don’t know what to ask.

Feels like a faint breath, before a warm handshake, before a hug to comfort me by,

I know I have always been indifferent, just never wished I would try.

Feels like faith so changed, feels like lost time again,

How I wish I could get back at life, with everything that isn’t mundane.

Feels like seasons, like days, like moments in time,

Feels like a different role to play, when I know I did my part, all that was mine.

Feels like many smiles, and warm memories I forever live by,

I will tell you tonight that in my writing you will find me, if you find time just try.

Feels like an advice, a big help, a big change that forever changes life,

I know I felt different, but for a fighting chance I forever will, strive.

Let me just keep the hope, the smile tonight,

No questions asked, no explanations and no worries for a while.

Feels like the leaf, which forever falls so close and yet so far from the tree,

Whether it is a touch, or simply the wind that breaks my fall & leaves me as “me”

For ever be...

So close that my breath feels so faint,

So true to my heart, that my memory seems taint.

So special a touch tonight, that forever changed the day,

So complete it feels tonight as I look for words to say.

Silent footsteps how I wish I would never hear,

Sum feelings I know are right & those that I have to bear.

I find you on a shallow beach, on a mountain far away,

Watching the sun go down, the day change every day.

The feeling that's some things exist & yet r never meant to be,

The honest truth that I cannot touch, the reality I can see.

We have broken promises & made amends every single day,

And yet we seem to be falling apart in every way.

They tell us truth is about what the world means,

I find simply a meaning that lies but unseen.

If words could forever hold, and songs could for ever play,

How I wish I could live my life, all but once with no dismay.

And the silence in my head, that forever rings aloud,

I can live with many things, with just a wishful sound

I believe in being you, in being the best that I can be,

I will always look for an explanation, whether or not, you want one from me.

We remain.....

I write today with my heart's delight,

I may not have won but I know I put up a fight.

I write today with expressions so strong,

And meaning to my words that seem lost all along.

Everywhere tonight I find u both in shadows and in the light,

Trying to be different, and yet the same by my side.

Every choice I make today, seems a distant truth that changed,

And every time I try I know I am only making amends

It may not be a feeling, just a memory I can’t seem to forget,

Or simply an understanding that in time I fairly regret.

I may not take a chance, make a difference anymore,

I comfort myself in telling, I was with you for all the walks down the shore.

In the yesterday and the tomorrow, that for ever liese unseen,

I can nevr blame the times that have been true and those that have not been,

 If I could write poems, so simple & sings songs that made sense,

I wish I knew if I could make bigger differences and our lives we could change

If I could tell you something tonight, in the hope you’ll understand,

I would tell you it was warm inside, when I simply held your hand.

Truth is how I hold my memories so close, so deep,

A distant journey and my life unseen.

For you to be a part, to be a difference somehow,

I changed in every way, knowing if things did matter, it matters now.

For this to be a different day to be a better choice tonight,

I look for only a different hope, & to know in my heart I tried.

I may find it harder to be indifferent, harder to change,

But tonight in some pages of my life still, our memory remains.

"we" remain.